Last year, I wrote this article for my law school paper, Plead the Fifth, and interestingly enough, was nominated for the ABA Law Student Divison National Awards for Best Editorial. I didn’t win, but that’s still an enormous honor just to be nominated.

IN GOD WE TRUST is a reminder of our American heritage that is stamped onto every coin and bill distributed by the Federal Reserve. However, Michael Newdow, the attorney of California who previously attacked the Pledge of Allegiance for being “under God,” is, once again, knocking on the doors of the courthouse. This time, he is trying to free the atheists from another possible violation involving the Constitutionally-separated church and state. Many United States citizens possess the common misconception that “In God We Trust” has been printed on all United States notes since the founding fathers established our land of the free. However, the motto, “In God We Trust,” was not added to any Federal coins until 1864, based on a proposal from the Civil War era. In 1865, the phrase was added to various coins, including the dollar, the half-dollar, the quarter, and the three-cent coin. Sometime between then and 1883, the logo was added to the five-cent piece but then removed. In 1908, all coins that had previously presented the motto were once again required to be such inscribed, but this strangely excluded the five and one-cent pieces. In 1956, with the President’s approval, Congress declared the national motto to be “In God We Trust.” In 1957, bills started to attain the phrase, and by 1966, all newly printed bills of one hundred dollars or less would be inscribed with the motto. Most scholars will argue the same point — the final press of the motto in the 1950s was a McCarthyist tactic to unify the United States, who were majority Deist in some fashion, against the evil, God-denouncing Soviets. Whether the Soviets actually were majority atheist is a disputed fact, and whether the Soviets were evil depended on which side of the wall you were standing; but, the U.S. government and media clearly posed the enemy to be non-believers. Now, our society is spending truckloads of money investigating whether this gradual shift is unconstitutional when a large percentage of us were not even alive to influence the decision.

Simultaneously, the cost of printing money is quite a staggering figure. In the 1980s, the Reserve was actually losing money on each penny printed, but since changing composition for coins and the privatization of most aspects of creating coins, the cost of the penny has dropped from about 1.4 cents to a little under a penny. The average coin lasts about 30 years, and the average dollar bill lasts about 18 months. Each year, millions of coins and bills are pulled out of circulation by the government and replaced with new legal tender. When a penny is replaced by a piece of metal that costs less than a penny to make, but is still worth 1 cent, the government actually turns a profit on each penny — currently adding up to about 40 million dollars per year on pennies alone. While we are currently gaining money for issuing tender, our society was previously losing countless dollars over the past years. In fact, the production of the penny in 1994 cost the government about $9 million. The current profit from printing now goes into the budget to help defray the national deficit (while also probably contributing to inflation), but no one can deny that extra money is good. In effect, we are constantly dumping money into creating money.

So, now there are two problems. We have a statement that is arguably in violation of the Constitution and a costly process to make our legal tender. There is a simple, yet arguably radical solution to annihilate both birds with one stone. How much would Starbucks pay to have its name printed on every U.S. coin and bill for the year 2007? How much would Nike pay to swoosh all of our tender for 2008? This would be an advertising executive’s wet dream. While some might see this as un-American, and incredibly unpatriotic, what is more American than a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, or a Venti Mocha Choca Frappucino? These products form the basis of our society today. While we poke fun at a $5.77 pair of jeans from Wal-Mart, stocks show how our society cannot get enough of these products. The simple proposal is this: remove the motto from all of our legal tender, but replace it with a small inscription of the highest bidder’s choosing. We can leave the current graphics on, whether they are a past president or a capitol building, but let us swap out the text space. The foundations of our society are certainly not based on our trust in God (unless you live in Salt Lake City). Little damage to our national pride would be done, if any at all, for such a huge capital gain.

We, as citizens of the United States of America, could easily and exponentially increase the budget (or decrease the deficit, depending on whether taken from a politician’s or an accountant’s perspective) by making this simple change. When your representative asks what you want for 2009, tell her that you want to see printed on the back of your five dollar bill: McDonalds! i’m lovin’ it.

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US Coin History from the US Treasury